In the last several days, following President Obama's announcement of his support of Gay Marriage, other well known, successful straight men have come out to announce their support of what Obama did as well as Gay Marriage. The people I'm talking about are rap artist Jay-Z and actor/singer Will Smith. I will be the first to admit that I had a moment of thinking in stereotypes and was a bit shocked that these two were for Equal Marriage. They both gave similar statements claiming what Obama said during his ABC interview was brave.
So this got me thinking, what is it about rap, hip-hop, "gangster" types that make us automatically believe they are homophobic? This recent bit of news about these two popular and successful men from the "cool" crowd of today's world made me realize how evolved our country and our society is becoming. It may be a slow process, but it IS happening.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
Time to breathe
So throughout the evening, I've been debating on what to post about. Should it be about Rhode Island recognizing same-sex marriages that were performed out of state as legit marriages entitling the spouses to the same rights as hetero married couples? Or about Oklahoma Republican Congressman James Lankford's view that homosexuality is a choice and something a person should be fired from their job for? Perhaps about Time Magazine's upcoming cover featuring President Obama with a rainbow halo over this head and the caption reading "The First Gay President"? In the end, I decided to mention all, but truly focus on none. Simply because seeing all these topics in the last 14 hours has made me realize something else. It is VERY easy to feel overwhelmed by the about all the news that hits you daily, or hourly, about a cause you are passionate about, and how easily that news can really effect your mood.
Sure it'd be easy for me to fake it and simply write about how Rhode Island is doing the right thing, and I support it 100%, or about how the Congressman is being a frickin' ignorant a-hole, or even about how, while it is a good concept, Time Magazine's cover is a bit over the top, much like their breast feeding cover (Google if you haven't seen it...). In the end, I decided instead to give a tiny bit of advice. I know all too well how easy it is to allow things to overwhelm you. It is easy to feel flustered, stretched too thin, and anxious, especially when you are very passionate about the topic of the articles and such. Sometimes, after reading several disheartening or frustrating articles, like the one about the Oklahoma Congressman, I get an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. But then I realized something. We all have down times or lose battles in life. What's important is that we never lose HOPE. Hope is what guides through dark and troubled times. It can calm us when we are lost in fury and make us smile after drowning in tears of sadness.
The war for LGBT Equality is long from over, and there WILL be hard times ahead, but as long as we keep the hope of one day having everyone, no matter their orientation, seen as equal by our nation then we are still have all we need to keep winning battles, one by one.
Sure it'd be easy for me to fake it and simply write about how Rhode Island is doing the right thing, and I support it 100%, or about how the Congressman is being a frickin' ignorant a-hole, or even about how, while it is a good concept, Time Magazine's cover is a bit over the top, much like their breast feeding cover (Google if you haven't seen it...). In the end, I decided instead to give a tiny bit of advice. I know all too well how easy it is to allow things to overwhelm you. It is easy to feel flustered, stretched too thin, and anxious, especially when you are very passionate about the topic of the articles and such. Sometimes, after reading several disheartening or frustrating articles, like the one about the Oklahoma Congressman, I get an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. But then I realized something. We all have down times or lose battles in life. What's important is that we never lose HOPE. Hope is what guides through dark and troubled times. It can calm us when we are lost in fury and make us smile after drowning in tears of sadness.
The war for LGBT Equality is long from over, and there WILL be hard times ahead, but as long as we keep the hope of one day having everyone, no matter their orientation, seen as equal by our nation then we are still have all we need to keep winning battles, one by one.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
A confession and an apology....
I need to come clean about an incident that occurred in the last few days. You might be asking yourself why I'd think you'd care, but it's been rattling around inside my head for the last 24 hours. The other day I posted a really sad video on this blog called "It Could Happen To You". Well while I was watching the video before posting it, I got into a comment argument with a major religious bigot. They kept responding which would cause me to respond as well, so this went on until last night. It was I realized how much all that anger and hate was consuming me. I'm a 20 year old adult. I should know by now that anger and hate solves nothing. I just got so angry over how this person, as well as several others, were being so cruel with their comments about how being gay is perverse and disgusting as well as religious comments about it being a sin and God hating gays and on and on. I was already pretty peeved about what happened in North Carolina earlier this week and with all this other hate and anger being added in as well, I was at my boiling point.
So I'd like to profusely apologize to the LGBT Community. I allowed my anger to get the better of me in the last 72 hours. I know there are a lot of people out there who are major bigots and homophobes. I also know you can't please everyone or suede everyone's views of gays. By getting as mad as I did, I lowered myself to the bigots' level. I need to work more on being calm and taking a breath before responding to ignorance. So I'm very sorry LGBT community, and I shall work harder to do better, in a better manner, in the future. <3
So I'd like to profusely apologize to the LGBT Community. I allowed my anger to get the better of me in the last 72 hours. I know there are a lot of people out there who are major bigots and homophobes. I also know you can't please everyone or suede everyone's views of gays. By getting as mad as I did, I lowered myself to the bigots' level. I need to work more on being calm and taking a breath before responding to ignorance. So I'm very sorry LGBT community, and I shall work harder to do better, in a better manner, in the future. <3
Friday, May 11, 2012
Summing it up grandly
My sister sent me this today in an email, and I decided to share it with all of you. I think this simile sums it up perfectly. My biggest qualm about haters of equal marriage is the fact that they always point out how it's against their religion or it violates the sanctity of marriage. Would someone PLEASE explain to me how this is? How does what someone else does with the one they love effect ANYONE else? Frankly, if John marrying Steve or Lisa marrying Karen affects YOUR marriage then you have A LOT bigger problems of your own to sort out. STOP THINKING THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND YOU BIGOTS! 'cause it doesn't! EVERYONE deserves to be happy and marry the one they love, not just people of a certain orientation or religon.
REPOST! President Obama Supports Gay Marriage
Since the previous video I had posted of this had a Youtube copyright issue, I'm reposting it! Once again, Obama announces he supports gay marriage!
Please Watch. Everyone needs to see this.
I first saw this video about 4 days ago through one of the LGBT sites I frequent. I never cry at online videos and this one made me BAWL. We live in a very sad time. Not only does this video make my heartbreak, but it makes me so angry as well! These people didn't deserve to have Tom as a son! I know hatred is not the answer, but, if I'm being honest here, sometimes I wish people like this, the bigots of the world, would just disappear or get thrown in jail or worse. These two were so in love and then, just like that, an accident happened and one was gone forever. It could happen to any couple. But for couples that are LGBT members, things like this are so much worse. They don't have the same rights to each other as straight couples have. Not to mention, bigots make situations like this even worse. Because of Tom's parent's idiotic, bigoted views, they kept the most important person in their son's life from saying his goodbye. How would you feel if the person you loved more then your own life was suddenly gone, and you weren't allowed final goodbyes or to come to the funeral and were basically erased from the person's life as far as their family was concerned? This family doesn't deserve to be citizens. Please share Shane's story so we can help prevent anyone else from feeling this kind of heartbreak. Thank you.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
"Coming Out" in my own way
It occured to me today, that before I get much further in this blog, I should to explain something. Tell a bit of my story if you will. As I said before, I am 100% straight. However, I had my own version of "coming out" that I had to do in recent years. It was the singer Cindi Lauper that once admitted to having to come out as straight to her friends as all of the people she surrounded herself with were not. My family wasn't homophobic per say. The word gay was just never mentioned growing up. I'm ashamed to say I didn't even know men and women had relationships with people of the same gender until I was around 11 or 12 years old. However, it wasn't until I was 13 or 14 that I started to form my own thoughts and ideas about homosexuality.
At first the mere thought of two guys or girls even just romantically hugging or holding hands, made me blush a bit like a little school girl. However, the more the subject seemed to dwell in my mind, the more I realized how pro-LGBT I was. Unfortunately, I hardly spoke any of my thoughts of the subject until I was 18 and starting community college. Over the last two years or more, my opinions and beliefs in gay rights have only gotten stronger as has my courage to admit my beliefs aloud and stand by them. My mom has been passed away for about 7 years now, so really it was only my dad's reaction I was truly worried about. My sisters, I knew, would have their own opinons but support mine nonetheless. My dad, however, I have always been terrified of disappointing. I started out small, casually mentioning a gay film I had watched and loved or a gay pairing or character I was currently borderline obessessed with. Eventually that lead forward to slipping in my view points on current hot news topics dealing with the LGBT community during a regular phone conversation. To my surprise, my dad never even batted an eye or seemed shocked. I know he may still be a bit uncomfortable around members of the LGBT community, but he is an open minded and supportive person, who has grown more and more excepting of all kinds of people the longer he lives. I even sent him the link to this blog after debating about whether to wait a few days or not. He read through it and texted back that he thought it was well written and that he loved me. So as proud of creating this blog, and finally having the courage to put my voice out there, as I already was, having my dad's support, on top of my siblings' and some friends', just makes it that much more sweeter of an endeavor.
What I'm trying to get at here in this little rambly anecdote, is that no, I haven't ever had to come out to my family or friends as gay, lesian, bisexual, or transgender. I haven't felt that terror and fear of what could happen, nor the loneliness, uncertainty, and confusion that can hover around you while you are in the closet. HOWEVER, in a tiny way, I'd like to think that I felt the smallest molecule of those feelings when I was hiding my feelings of gay ally pride inside of myself away from the world. Just telling my family and friends that "hey I support gay rights 245.8% and always have" was pretty darn nerve wracking and worrisome. I also know what it's like to be different in general, to be seen as weird, strange, or even different. I have my own personality traits that make people look at me different. Sometimes like when a dog cocks its head sideways when it hears a strang noise. Overall, I may not know what it's like to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender, but.... I do know what it's like to be a bit different then most.
So while I may not know what's its like to truly come out, I am here to support those that have,and want OR are struggling, to come out. I may not always be able to give some kind of advice, but what I lack in experience I promise I'll make up for in support, encouragement, and love.
<3
At first the mere thought of two guys or girls even just romantically hugging or holding hands, made me blush a bit like a little school girl. However, the more the subject seemed to dwell in my mind, the more I realized how pro-LGBT I was. Unfortunately, I hardly spoke any of my thoughts of the subject until I was 18 and starting community college. Over the last two years or more, my opinions and beliefs in gay rights have only gotten stronger as has my courage to admit my beliefs aloud and stand by them. My mom has been passed away for about 7 years now, so really it was only my dad's reaction I was truly worried about. My sisters, I knew, would have their own opinons but support mine nonetheless. My dad, however, I have always been terrified of disappointing. I started out small, casually mentioning a gay film I had watched and loved or a gay pairing or character I was currently borderline obessessed with. Eventually that lead forward to slipping in my view points on current hot news topics dealing with the LGBT community during a regular phone conversation. To my surprise, my dad never even batted an eye or seemed shocked. I know he may still be a bit uncomfortable around members of the LGBT community, but he is an open minded and supportive person, who has grown more and more excepting of all kinds of people the longer he lives. I even sent him the link to this blog after debating about whether to wait a few days or not. He read through it and texted back that he thought it was well written and that he loved me. So as proud of creating this blog, and finally having the courage to put my voice out there, as I already was, having my dad's support, on top of my siblings' and some friends', just makes it that much more sweeter of an endeavor.
What I'm trying to get at here in this little rambly anecdote, is that no, I haven't ever had to come out to my family or friends as gay, lesian, bisexual, or transgender. I haven't felt that terror and fear of what could happen, nor the loneliness, uncertainty, and confusion that can hover around you while you are in the closet. HOWEVER, in a tiny way, I'd like to think that I felt the smallest molecule of those feelings when I was hiding my feelings of gay ally pride inside of myself away from the world. Just telling my family and friends that "hey I support gay rights 245.8% and always have" was pretty darn nerve wracking and worrisome. I also know what it's like to be different in general, to be seen as weird, strange, or even different. I have my own personality traits that make people look at me different. Sometimes like when a dog cocks its head sideways when it hears a strang noise. Overall, I may not know what it's like to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender, but.... I do know what it's like to be a bit different then most.
So while I may not know what's its like to truly come out, I am here to support those that have,and want OR are struggling, to come out. I may not always be able to give some kind of advice, but what I lack in experience I promise I'll make up for in support, encouragement, and love.
<3
Breaking: Obama Supports Gay Marriage - May 9, 2012
I had to share this. Sorry that it image gets messed up the middle, Youtube had it like that too. I haven never felt as strongly about a President as I do about this man at this moment. He has really done more for the LGBT community then any other US President. You heard it yourself, the Obama Administration has LGBT members! that's right bigots! there are LGBT members helping run this country! Despite NC horrible decision yesterday, this gives me hope for the future.
Why do people flip out over gender dysphoria?
Alright, so this morning I logged onto my Facebook like most people in today's world and, there, on the page for People Magazine (please don't judge me! its sometimes interesting) was an article about a member of a Florida punk band called Against Me! who came out as transgender. The band's singer, Tom Gabel, has apparently struggled with gender dysphoria for a very long time and has finally decided to undergo treatment to become a woman. Tom is 31 years old, married, and has a 2 year old daughter with his wife. She is apparently very supportive of his decision and will remain married to him. Eventually, the singer will continue his life as Laura Jane Grace, which I believe is a very beautiful name.
So here is my question, why are random people that have never met this person, and some not even HEARD of him or the band, up in arms over this? Is society still so shallow minded that they think that something like gender dysphoria is a CHOICE? Do you really think anyone would want to face the challenges transgender people have to face in their lifetime WILLINGLY? This person's wife, his WIFE, the woman he pledged to spend his life with and the woman he shares a CHILD with, is being supportive and there for him. This situation can't be easy on either one of them, and yet she's being understanding and staying by his side. So if she can do that and be that amazing, why can't people who have never met or heard of Tom Gabel at the VERY least stop being jerks and talking trash about him and his family online?
Also everyone seems so worried about their daughter. Well, let me tell you something, you gender DOES NOT determine if you are a good parent or not. People that are gay, lesbian, bisexual, AND transgender can be just as amazing, if not more so, parents as straight parents can be. Your gender or sexual orientation does not matter when raising your kid. What matters is that you love them unconditionally and are there for them.
I, for one, support Tom Gabel's decision to live his life happily instead of being someone he's not. I salute you Tom! You're courageous and strong and deserve to be happy! <3
So here is my question, why are random people that have never met this person, and some not even HEARD of him or the band, up in arms over this? Is society still so shallow minded that they think that something like gender dysphoria is a CHOICE? Do you really think anyone would want to face the challenges transgender people have to face in their lifetime WILLINGLY? This person's wife, his WIFE, the woman he pledged to spend his life with and the woman he shares a CHILD with, is being supportive and there for him. This situation can't be easy on either one of them, and yet she's being understanding and staying by his side. So if she can do that and be that amazing, why can't people who have never met or heard of Tom Gabel at the VERY least stop being jerks and talking trash about him and his family online?
Also everyone seems so worried about their daughter. Well, let me tell you something, you gender DOES NOT determine if you are a good parent or not. People that are gay, lesbian, bisexual, AND transgender can be just as amazing, if not more so, parents as straight parents can be. Your gender or sexual orientation does not matter when raising your kid. What matters is that you love them unconditionally and are there for them.
I, for one, support Tom Gabel's decision to live his life happily instead of being someone he's not. I salute you Tom! You're courageous and strong and deserve to be happy! <3
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
First Post
So I suppose I should start off with saying hi! You can call me Wally. I decided to start this blog after keeping the majority of my thoughts on Gay Rights to myself and wishing I could do something. That's how this blog was born. I'm not sure if anyone is, or will ever be, reading this post or any others, but I do hope someone one day will.
During my high school years was when I realized how I truly felt about Gay Rights. It wasn't a subject that came up much growing up simply because it didn't relate to our family like it did to others. However, in high school, I started realizing how I felt about the subject. Thinking people should be able to love and marry who they want to regardless of gender wasn't an idea that should be thought about and fought over in my young adolescent mind, nor was it hard for me to understand that being gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender isn't something you CHOOSE to be, its predetermined before birth when your DNA is being formed. Why is that so hard for some people to get? It has nothing to do with choice or religion!
Sadly, I, myself, am straight, no question about it. My DNA makeup was uncool like that. Because, although the world today can be full of bigotry and hate, there is a reason it is called gay PRIDE, am I right? I know I am very proud to be friends with the few LGBT members that I'm friends with. I admire them and think they are the most wonderful, awesome people. Not saying my straight friends aren't!
So besides my obvious love and respect for LGBT in general, what caused me to finally start a blog was what happened in North Carolina this evening on May 8, 2012. The NC Government voted to BAN gay marriage in the state with their Amendment One. This state already was 1 of 30 states of ban gay marriage, but this amendment makes it so their civil unions and other types of domestic partnerships will no longer be recognized as legal to the state. What kind of crap is this?! This country will allow a man and a woman to get married and divorced in a span of a few hours AND let a man marry a woman then cheat on her, sometimes multiple times, or beat the crap out of her and possibly kill her, but it won't allow two people that JUST HAPPEN to be the same gender, who are in a committed, adult relationship get married?! They can open a business together, own a home together, and live together for 20+ years or more then buy side-by-side burial plots and spend eternity next to each other, just, you know, not actually be ACKNOWLEDGED as a legitimate couple by the GOVERNMENT! You know, the people we trust to look after our country and keep us safe. You know 60 years ago, it was also believed the people from two different religions or races couldn't be married. Before that it was two people from different social classes. Isn't it time America be truly equal to ALL?
People fall in love with people, not genders.
During my high school years was when I realized how I truly felt about Gay Rights. It wasn't a subject that came up much growing up simply because it didn't relate to our family like it did to others. However, in high school, I started realizing how I felt about the subject. Thinking people should be able to love and marry who they want to regardless of gender wasn't an idea that should be thought about and fought over in my young adolescent mind, nor was it hard for me to understand that being gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender isn't something you CHOOSE to be, its predetermined before birth when your DNA is being formed. Why is that so hard for some people to get? It has nothing to do with choice or religion!
Sadly, I, myself, am straight, no question about it. My DNA makeup was uncool like that. Because, although the world today can be full of bigotry and hate, there is a reason it is called gay PRIDE, am I right? I know I am very proud to be friends with the few LGBT members that I'm friends with. I admire them and think they are the most wonderful, awesome people. Not saying my straight friends aren't!
So besides my obvious love and respect for LGBT in general, what caused me to finally start a blog was what happened in North Carolina this evening on May 8, 2012. The NC Government voted to BAN gay marriage in the state with their Amendment One. This state already was 1 of 30 states of ban gay marriage, but this amendment makes it so their civil unions and other types of domestic partnerships will no longer be recognized as legal to the state. What kind of crap is this?! This country will allow a man and a woman to get married and divorced in a span of a few hours AND let a man marry a woman then cheat on her, sometimes multiple times, or beat the crap out of her and possibly kill her, but it won't allow two people that JUST HAPPEN to be the same gender, who are in a committed, adult relationship get married?! They can open a business together, own a home together, and live together for 20+ years or more then buy side-by-side burial plots and spend eternity next to each other, just, you know, not actually be ACKNOWLEDGED as a legitimate couple by the GOVERNMENT! You know, the people we trust to look after our country and keep us safe. You know 60 years ago, it was also believed the people from two different religions or races couldn't be married. Before that it was two people from different social classes. Isn't it time America be truly equal to ALL?
People fall in love with people, not genders.
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